Edgewise

A Little Understanding, Please...

David Kolodney

Aside from the very slight chances of a hurricane and a flood occurring coincidentally, planners had to identify and assign personnel according to their skills. It must be remembered:

--Every hurricane or flood is different. Some call for public-safety skills, boats and sandbagging, while others require clockmakers and paleontologists.

--The records had to be, by definition, antediluvian. [Def: "Bible. Occurring or belonging to the era before the Flood."]

--Hence, they were written in cuneiform. [Def: "Characters formed by the arrangement of small wedge-shaped elements, used in ancient Sumerian, Akkadian, Assyrian, Babylonian, and Persian."] Many of our cuneiform translators are currently on assignment overseas.

--Finally, we know from President Bush's own case, the Guard keeps its records in unmarked cartons, distributed at random locations throughout the country